Seeing grown-up established people around I`ve come to conclusion that no matter how much they earn and what experience they have gained they are still suffering from ‘young’ problems as if being absolutely immature.
Yesterday I interviewed one of the most famous drummers of Ukraine and Russia. He`s also known among American jazzmen. Although, he is Ukranian, from Kiev, and was very nervous about the situation in his native city he flew into a Sincere Talking somehow. And – as by sudden flash of lightning – I saw why he`s so unhappy in his 37. ‘I can`t understand when did I lose something?’ he said.
He is lonely – and longing for Real Love to come – but all his life he did nothing but work. Not to earn, but to be self-established and to have the Rights to respect himself. He doesn`t know how to keep the relationships with lovely women – he is just for sex and gets bored than nothing happens for more then 2 weeks.
You see, in our time that is the problem. First, we can`t love ourselves. We are full of humanic sententions like “one cannot love the other if he doesn`t love himself”, but it`s just theory. We can`t stop the circle of self-affirmation claiming for more and more. We can`t take the main idea – there exist neither wins, nor defeats, but only the deeds. Good deeds leading to a happiness no matter to whom they belong; and bad deeds that should be paid for and corrected.
Secondly, after all the fairy-tales about non-Earthly love we live in illusions about our own Brains and Heart. We think our emotions are sufficient, and they shouldn`t be trained. We don`t appreciate our own feelings being too cynical or accustomed to easy ways of getting sex or erotical satisfaction. We don`t value our hearts though we estimate our brains too high – it`s the product of sail and way to get through living today. There`s no balance.
That`s why we can`t entrust our brains to God – we think they are very valuable and want to control them, though hearts we even don`t want to teach.
We don`t want to be manipulated by System or by other people, but in trying to clear everything up and come off clear we cheat ourselves and make it all worse with the feeling that we are wise and sarcastic, and gave no opportunity to noone to sting us in our self-opinion.